more thoughts on TCKs

Earlier this week, I posted some thoughts on TCKs… why I feel that being a “third culture kid” helped explain my unique upbringing, but does not do much to explain my adulthood. After all, I have many adult friends who are “third culture” in their outlook on life and their lifestyles, but who were not raised multiculturally, and many adult friends who were TCKs in childhood but who now seem only minimally different from other adults who have been incredibly stable since the day they were born.

Well, but then I came across this:

This video shows some TCKs who are a lot more like me… Adults who have no sense of home at all, who travel perpetually, who don’t settle down in relationships. Yes, that sounds a lot like me. And even my “third culture” adult friends (the ones who were raised monoculturally but somehow seem to have become more TC than most TCKs as adults) don’t seem as caught in this cycle as I am. So this video made me cry, because I resonated so much with it.

Now, most of the characters in the video moved around a lot more than I, or other missionary kids, did when they were children. Their parents have also continued to migrate around the world over the years, and many of their parents are in cross-cultural marriages.

These details are true for many TCKs, especially children of corporate businesspeople and humanitarian workers, but are not true for many MKs (children of missionaries). Missionaries, if married, most often married to people from their same home culture, so their kids are raised bi-culturally, not multi-culturally. Missionaries usually live in one or two “fields” over the course of a career, not dozens.

My experiences are more like those of the TCKs portrayed in the video, but my parents are indeed missionaries, both American, who raised me entirely in two countries only. But somehow, I became one of these “mega” TCKs?!

By the way, I’m not wondering for myself, I’m wondering about the sociological phenomenon. What is the difference between a constantly-transitioning experience, and a one-big-move experience???

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  • http://beinghappygirl.blogspot.com happygirl

    This video touched me, too. It helps me understand how you must feel. I love calling Chicago my home town. I can’t imagine not having a home country.

    • http://www.katiworonka.com Kati Woronka

      thanks… the concept of home really is a bit elusive for me… i definitely think of you as a marylander but i guess i really shouldn’t. oops. I have a lot to learn.

  • http://www.sparklingadventures.com/ Lauren

    After 16 years overseas as a child, I’m homeless. I’m always leading my family on perpetual travels. Now we’ve left our home behind and are gypsy wanderers — with five kids! I can’t imagine settling down.

    • http://www.katiworonka.com Kati Woronka

      Wow, and here I thought that maybe if I had a family of my own it would help me to stay put. Thanks for setting me straight on that one! Amazing story you have, I checked out your site. As for me, after a decade of perpetual transition and wandering, it felt like it was picking up speed and spiraling out of control, so now I’ve plunked myself down somewhere and tell myself every day that I need to stay put… i’m learning a lot about myself and am very grateful I made this decision, but I also do often wonder how long I’ll last!

      • http://www.sparklingadventures.com/ Lauren

        We did spend twelve years in one location before we started moving. That was long enough for us! So, yes, enjoy the season of stability and then you can embrace change when it occurs again.

      • http://www.katiworonka.com Kati Woronka

        will try! I’m curious how long i’ll manage to keep up this stability thing. Thanks :)