If you missed the first half of this little story, click here! Happy Girl and I are comparing notes on some random questions, doing some good interpersonal culturtwining.
4. What are your thoughts regarding giving money to church or charity?
HG: I believe we should give 10% of our income to church and/or charity. I’m happy to have the church or charity decide how to best use the money. I decide on the church or charity by the way the distribute aid. I believe God requests a 10th of my income and this is how I honor that request.
KW: ‘Tis better to give than to receive. Giving is always good, the more the better. And I do think that the more we give, there is some ‘blessing’ on our lives. WHAT to give to is a different story, though. After working for charities for a while, I see a negative side to any good cause and this makes me hesitant. But giving is still good, even if I’m not always sure what to give to.
5. Do you believe that there are roles a person has simply because of gender?
HG: I know I’m not supposed to think this, but I do. I just think there are some things men and women are better at, just because of their gender.
KW: I do, as a matter of fact. I’m a single professional woman, and people generally expect me to be all about full equality, but I actually believe in equity: equal level of status but different roles. Obviously men can’t bring babies to term or breastfeed, but almost all men I know are better at fixing cars than almost all women I know. We’re just wired that way, it seems, with a few choice exceptions.
6. Is it important for your children to perform well in school? In athletics? In other areas?
HG: I care, but I’m not in control. I wanted my son to do his best. I wanted him to challenge himself. My self esteem did not hinge on my child’s performance.
KW: School – for sure. My brother and I were both academic achievers, and if I had a kid who wasn’t, that’d be very hard for me to deal with. In other areas, also yes, but I don’t think I’d be as emotionally attached.
7. How often do you drink?
HG: Every day, but not to intoxication. A drink or a glass of wine
KW: When someone offers me a glass of wine, I accept. When I’m at a cocktail party, or out at a bar with friends, I’ll partake in a Gin and Tonic or an Irish Whiskey. I really love wine, but don’t think to have it when it’s up to just me; it’s not a huge part of my lifestyle, I guess. I’ve never been drunk and never want to.
8. Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity, or a luxury?
HG: I don’t believe either are a necessity, but I don’t consider either a luxury. It depends how you use the term “vacation.” If you mean a break from working, then Yes, a necessity. We must take time to “sharpen the saw.” We must take time to restore ourselves. We don’t need to go anywhere to do this, but it would be nice. Movies, meh? I don’t really care about them. Music, that’s a different story. Essential. 🙂
KW: Both: a necessary luxury. Obviously many people in the world don’t have access to these things, which makes them a luxury. But they are fabulously good for mental and emotional health, which makes them necessary.
9. How do you feel about adoption?
KW: Very uncomfortable. I’m not fully opposed, but I think there are many many risks and dangers. It bugs me that there’s this aura in many Christian circles in America these days that adoption-is-always-wonderful. I don’t think so; I think it’s a decision to be weighed carefully, prayed through thoroughly, resisted and tested, etc., before moving forward.
10. How do you feel about civil marriage?
HG: Considering what marriage is becoming, fine. Two years ago I would have been more positive about marriage and less positive about civil unions. I, personally, have been married to the same man for 29 years. I am committed to him. I’m pretty sure we will be allowed to legally marry our dogs, soon. So, marriage, in legal terms, has lost its appeal for me. I guess we will have to find another institution for what marriage used to be. I guess my short answer would be, I’m good with it.
KW: Makes perfect sense to me. I know the word “marriage” is loaded, and I don’t understand why, but I guess I think that if any two people want to make a commitment to share their lives, romance involved or not involved, regardless of their gender, I think that’s cool and they should legally be allowed to. Marriage “before God” is a different issue in my mind.
Same question applies: do you have a different answer to any of these questions? Added perspective? Share them in the comments below.
Also… visit Happy Girl on Being Happy and give her some encouragement; this has not been a particularly easy month for her.